CFUW Fellowship

So in 500 words, I have to compellingly write:

* a description, the objectives and the projected application of my research;
* my personal motivation for embarking on such work;
* my justification of place of study
* my future plans
* my professional and personal goals on completion of this work.

500 words? Whoa. That's 100 words for each of those sections, if I plan it like that. Hmm. I have had to write lots of information in small amounts of space, but this seems particularly difficult. I know some people have it worse; my supervisor at UNICEF once had to summarize 30 years of research on AIDS orphans into 30 words. 30 words? Who decides that?

I guess it's going to have to be fairly general yet dense.

1) RESEARCH/STUDY: description: questioning the general (and more or less universal) sense of education as panacea to poverty alleviation; marginalized children and the effect of "education" differentially on different socio-economic classes; mixed methods; story-telling and priority scale; structural barriers (exam, policy, physical access); objectives: to understand different definitions of education by socio-economic category, living and working context; to compare self-percetions of the importance of education to children's lives differentially (by living, working context and socio-economically); to understand children's concern with achievement by group, and the "domain" of that achievement. Projected application: universal, equal access to education; importance of quality (not education no bar); might need more here

2) PERSONAL MOTIVATION: education the pinnacle/cornerstone of my own development - always higher achievement; travels to developing countries as a young child; understanding my privilege, recognizing what this means; contribution; children as inspiration; education's potential/power to change collective views of our purpose, needs; education as a tool for empowerment; value of family to encourage educational growth;

3) JUSTIFICATION OF PLACE OF STUDY: unparalleled resources; the chance to do interdisciplinary work, combining my background in Public Health and International Issues with Pscyhology and Education; HGSE is an institution that especially values research that incorporates children's voices, children as agents for change, children's rights; a world-reknowned institution whose name/reputation allows for work to be easily disseminated to other interested parties and stake holders, so your work can make a big impact/difference because the right people are here to push it along

4) FUTURE PLANS: academia; remain involved in grassroots efforts to promote universal education, particularly focusing on access to education for girls; apply for postdoctoral fellowships upon graduation; teaching and research

5) PROFESSIONAL AND PERSONAL GOALS ON COMPLETION OF THIS WORK: see above, and maybe include the fact that every year I complete one physical challenge (marathon, Kilimanjaro, etc), to continue with that, have a family, contribute to a longitudinal study maybe following these same children

Concerns -- Hopes

Part I
* That they will be shy
* That they will describe the pictures, instead of making up stories about them
* That they will be scared
* That the survey won't work
* That I won't get all my data
* That I will get lonely
* That I won't get to go to Dar
* That there will be contradicting evidence across the three data sources - that might be a good thing though
* That I get sick
* That I lose time

Part II
* That they will tell me funny and interesting and inspiring stories
* That they will open up to my research assistant
* That the survey will need changes but will eventually work
* That I will get all the data I need to write a great dissertation
* That I will make new friends
* That I will climb Mt.Meru and really get to know Moshi better this time
* That there will be contradicting evidence across the three sources
* That I remain healthy
* That I find enough things to do in my spare time

Do they have personal assistants for grad students?

These last couple of days, I think I have gotten a real flavor of what an academic life is like. It's all about deadlines! I need a personal assistant.

So deadlines dictate everything - where and when you apply for funding, where and when you apply to present at conferences, how you plan your life around these fundings sources and conference presentations, and what you need to remember to do 12 months from now. Going to do data collection in the Fall was probably not the best idea considering all the deadlines for fellowships are in the fall. But luckily the world wide web has allowed us to be anywhere in the world and still meet those pesky deadlines.

The academic year does, however, have a distinct temperament, flow, pattern. September, October, November: fellowships and conferences, jobs if you're at that stage. January, February, March: post-docs and more fellowships. June, August, September: good months for data collection if your project need not depend on the K-12 school year (bonus if you're doing international work). Somewhere in the mix you apply for teaching jobs, sit on administrative committees, review and edit journal articles, submit even more journal articles for publication, and oh yeah, consult so you can make a few pennies. Because all that other stuff doesn't bring in half as many pennies as the (sell-out) consulting gig on the side does.

Yet, we love it. Academics for the most part absolutely love their jobs. I don't know any people in my field or at my school who hate this job. You don't enter academia because you have to; it's not a means to an end; it's not something that keeps you busy and pays your bills. In my field, it is idealistic, hopeful, dreamy, achievement-oriented, people-oriented, idea-filled, intellectually-driven, and challenging as hell. It's something you realize you just have to do. And you wouldn't be happier doing anything else. I'm psyched for what's to come. I just hope other people understand.

Real

Everything seems to be coming together. Today I had an epiphany. For the past month or so, I have lost track of the big picture of this dissertation. Today as I was using the paper cutter to slice through my TATs, I remembered the chance to do a Dissertation Colloquium. I remembered how excited I really am about this project, and how it has the potential to make a difference. I remembered how wonderful it can be - albeit scary - to talk with the kids at Mkombozi. And I got excited again. I got excited for the project I've been looking forward to for 4 years and am now seeing through in reality. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've picked a hard thing to do, and I know that data collection is probably the hardest; it is the most unpredictable and the phase that has the most unknowns. Once you have the data, analyzing and writing are the fun parts. So here I go. Seeing my TATs all laminated and cut to size is making this real. Huzzah!

15 Days

Just a week and a day left before I leave for Tanzania. Wow. I am surely getting excited. Now that my (temporary) living conditions are settled, and I have a dinner meeting with Kate as soon as I get there, and I have a very promising research assistant, I feel at least ready to go. My ticket has arrived in Cambridge and is in a FedEx truck as we speak. My orals are in exactly two weeks. My fellowship application to CID is in. Things are coming together.

For the CID application, I had to spin my proposal to fit an international development concept. This was interesting and I actually realized how relevant my study is to international development. If collectively Tanzanians regard education as a panacea to poverty alleviation, yet structural barriers prevent universal (or even near-universal) access to schooling, how can national development be realized or even justified under that collective belief? There are serious implications for national development; as for international development, I argued that, through the standpoint of the National exam (which is essentially the principal barrier to accessing secondary education) several African nations require their children to take these exams and essentially they serve the purpose of saving lots of money so that those kids don't get to go to secondary school. Yet, somehow the economy survives as best as it can; children are sent instead to agriculture jobs or, in many cases particularly with the epidemic, are orphaned or left to live on the streets - often on their own accord.

At the same time, there are implications - or at least parallels - for domestic education policies right here in the United States. No Child Left Behind has imposed standardized testing with high stakes for high schoolers. Do these tests change the collective sense of what education stands for in this country? Do these tests steer children into specific careers? Do they categorize children very early on into social and economic classes without giving the poor performing kids a chance to redeem themselves? What I need to do is look up the statistics on the passing rate of primary to secondary on the MCAS and mirror this to what is happening in Tanzania. It might not be that the test is so hard that only 20% proceed to secondary (as is the case in Tz), but if we are heading that way, we may be able to learn a lesson or two from the way things are going in Tz. It's a scary thought to compare this developing (or some might argue middle-developed) country to the biggest powerhouse in the world. But when it comes to social services like health and education, we might just be heading down a track akin to the less developed.